Loss often has a profound impact on us, our emotions, our beliefs on life and sometimes changes us for ever.
Sometimes reading about others’ losses helps us understand our own. Below is a recommended reading list of books which are a must-read if you are grieving the death of a loved one.
A heart-breaking tale on the loss of a sister, this novel is a beautiful story about love and loss. The only person who can understand her grief is her sister's boyfriend with whom she finds connection and meaning. Yet she is torn between him and a young man enters the scene and steals her heart with his energetic approach to life and musical talent. Each gives her something that she needs - the need to grieve her sister's loss yet the hope to move on and finding meaning and purpose in life again. A poetic book, it recognises the mixed feelings we so often experience on someone's loss, and expresses them articulately.
Jane Eyre, whilst a novel, remains a beautiful fictional autobiography at heart recounting Jane’s (the central character and heroine of the book) journey from a young girl, orphaned and raised by her abusive aunt to a women who becomes a respectable governess and falls deeply in love, reinventing herself morally and spiritually. This book falls into the bereavement category due to the Jane’s approach to life regardless of the losses and suffering that she has endured as a little child from the death of her parents. Whilst you cannot control the unfortunate circumstances that life throws at you, you can control how you deal with these, standing up for yourself, being true to yourself and persevering conscientiously, through a series of life choices and important decisions until you achieve the freedom and love you deserve.
Whilst she face a difficult childhood of abuse, particularly when she lived with her aunt and attended Lowood academy, she learns to love life and natural beauty and lands herself a life-changing role as governess where she falls in love with the 20 years her senior, Mr Rochester. The initial friendship blossoms into romance and initially love. However a dark secret means that she may also lose Mr Rochester… her strong spirit, morals and conscience are a role model for anyone dealing with life’s sorrows. A great read which may bring tears – that in itself is therapeutic.
Sandberg’s ‘Option B’ is a powerful book on re-building life and resilience after devastating yet inevitable setbacks.
After the unexpected death of her husband, Sandberg went through a traumatic period, as she grieved with her children. Feeling a sense of emptiness and void, she struggled to find meaning, joy or happiness in anything again. Yet she has bounced back since and found meaning and joy in everything. She uses the analogy of building resilience as a muscle that you train and that is available to everyone to exercise, train and develop.
With the help of her Wharton-based psychologist, Adam Grant, Sandberg confesses in heart-breaking detail the grief, loneliness and sadness she felt on finding her husband lying on the gym floor, unconscious. Option B is Sheryl’s own journey through adversity and rediscovering the human spirit as she researches how people cope with and overcome extreme hardships including job losses, illness and the trauma of war to name a few.
When things do not go to plan, we can still make things work for us, through the development of resilience, a strong external support network, meaningful relationships and the practice of appreciating our lives for what they are. This is known as Option B, a back-up plan, that allows us to grieve yet, enjoy life again and make the most of who we are and let our spirit shine.
25 year old Frances Bloom pours out her heart on the loss of her spouse in this beautiful and artistic poetry collection - each poem contains her grief and sadness in thoughtful verse and expression.
Suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and bipolar 1 disorder, this is Bloom's poetic therapy stringing together fragile words to carry the weight of her great loss, the toll of the PTSD and bipolar 1 disorder and the daily struggles of life itself.
Each poem is aesthetically composed, reflecting the sense of loss she feels using apt metaphors, striking a chord with those who have experienced loss before.
September and In Dreams capture so eloquently the first stages of grief we experience when we lose someone. Moonlight welcomes acceptance of the fact that we all die someday. I Lie Here aptly captures the pain of suffering:
"I lie here
not wishing I were dead
not wishing I were alive
but wishing I had never existed
for then I would never know
under the sun."
A perfect literary remedy for those grieving, the poems are each cathartic in their own right. If you are a fan of Rupi Kaur, you'll love Bloom's work.
More book prescriptions can be found at Book Therapy.
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